I felt a deep sense of peace within me!
As my final session wrapped up today, I felt a deep sense of peace within me. I noticed that I didn’t need to make a conscious effort to shift myself into that state as I had in the past, it was just there, naturally.
Along with a deep sense of relief.
This final session was the big one. This is where I called b*llshit on my avoidance and faced my biggest and scariest demons - the ultimate act of betrayal that could be committed against a little girl. Yet the process was peaceful, gentle, cathartic and safe. I didn’t need to see the memories to release the blockage I’d been so fiercely holding onto and protecting. I just felt the energy move and release as we did the work.
I realised that the experiences and betrayals from my childhood that I’ve held onto stuffed down and unwilling to look at wasn’t a reflection of my worth. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough but what I realised was, that what my family was capable of was not good enough for me. And I can say that with compassion towards them because it wasn’t a reflection on me, it was a reflection of their own life experiences that caused them pain and drove them to act or respond the way they did.
The context of my destructive relationship patterns over the years also became clearer.
And now there seems to be a separation from my eating and spending behaviours as well. It’s like there’s a pause where I see how I used food and shopping to keep everything stuffed down.
My belief in myself has returned. I’ve moved from feeling weak, defeated and insecure to acknowledging I am actually brave, courageous and strong as f*ck.
I’ve let go of the critical stories and labels I used to define myself by. They’re simply not there anymore. If a thought about them comes, it doesn’t hold any emotional charge and then it just drifts away. I noticed this shift after the first couple of sessions.
This stuff wasn’t conscious. I’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars and as many hours over the last decade trying to “fix myself” and address these thoughts, beliefs, and behavioural patterns through traditional psychology and psychiatry, hospitalisations, 12-step programs, meditation, prayer, kinesiology and other energy work, shamanic and traditional healing retreats, weekend workshops, affirmations, books, tapping, essential oils, even a Course in Miracles. Some of it helped yet I inevitably experienced the same experiences only in different contexts.
There were times during these past 5 months working with Jen when I doubted myself and the process, I shut down, self-sabotaged, took some time to regroup, reopen and re-trust.
Ultimately though, I honored my commitment. I did the work and on a part-time salary in a single-income household, it was hard, but I was going to see it through no matter what. And I’m pretty f***ing proud of myself for my courage, bravery and tenacity.
Now I admire the woman I see in the mirror. I feel more open and peaceful like I’ve reconnected to the essence of who I am. This has been the biggest shift of all. It feels honest and vulnerable, humbling, real and beautiful. It’s invaluable. I’m finally finding me and I love her.
And now I feel ready to fall in love with someone wonderful one day — someone who is capable of giving me the love and affection I’m worthy of and I think it’s because I’m finally capable of that as well. Love isn’t something I need to be scared of anymore. I can trust myself now and I know that if I do get scared and wobbly on my new path, then I have the tools and the people in my corner to help me shine a light on the shadows so I don’t need to be afraid.
I’m so grateful for you Jen, thank you for being there to walk with me through the muck and messiness of it all and for consistently holding a safe, stable and loving space every single session. My teary butterfly face at the end said it all!! xx
- PCI Therapy Client
I no longer feel like I have to be perfect all the time
Thank you so much for the sessions this fall, it has been amazing to see how I’ve changed after our time together. I have changed a lot and I am very grateful to you.
I used to think that I had to be perfect, do everything right all the time, and be the best in everything so that people would like me.
I no longer feel like I have to be perfect all the time, I don't have to be the best at everything, and that's okay.
I don't need everyone to like me, I’m just being me, and the people who like me for me do, and the people that do not, it's okay.
I used to think the change was a bad thing, but I’ve learned that it's a good thing, change is good because it's helping me to grow and move forward.
Mistakes make me a better person, if I never make mistakes I’ll never develop as a person because I wouldn't learn something new.
Water is important, food is important. Taking care of myself and my body is important.
I don't use the phrase «what if» in a negative setting. Things usually turn out differently than I put it in my mind, and there is no need to think about the worst outcome before it actually happens.
I think that's the main thing that has changed for me, and again thank you so much, you’ve helped me a lot!
Jany - PCI Therapy Client
I feel different and in much more control of my life!
What has changed for me since starting this journey with JEN is:
- Seeing that having things with my partner end was a good thing, as it was holding me back and actually making me upset/angry/sad as my needs weren't being met or fulfilled.
- Now seeing rejection as redirection. As it is telling you that was not the path or person for you and gets you back on track.
- Not being scared of creating opportunities for myself and not being scared of putting myself out there.
- Not being scared to invest time and money into myself
- Not being scared of upskilling myself and my knowledge
- Realising not to be scared of trying something or doing something new, as the worst thing that can happen is that it doesn't work out for me.
Which means that wasn't meant for me anyway.
- Allowing myself to create a side job that I am passionate about. This is something I have wanted to do for a very long time now but just never knew what direction or what I wanted it to be. So having more clarity around the services I want to provide.
- Changing my energy from negative and low, to getting back to myself as a happy, fun, and loving life.
As I feel I was turning into quite an unhappy person.
- I'm able to focus on my work and not be distracted so much by outside issues or social media! I am not making silly mistakes at work now and I am doing a good job and enjoying the work so much more because of that.
- I am breaking my social media and phone addiction. I couldn't get myself off Facebook and Instagram because I was so focused on seeing what people were up to and what they were doing, instead of doing shit myself.
- Breaking my social media stalking, as it wasn't serving me or making me feel good to see what he's posting about.
And as I know what he posts isn't a true reflection of his life anyway, so it will never make me feel good.
- Not being scared of looking at my money. I have started a budget and have been tracking my money better.
I've paid off the vet bill and the car repairs.
I know life isn't perfect and things will always come up to test you, but just having the tools to deal with them is the key.
JEN truly helped me with all these and I am so thankful for all the help and knowledge. Truly much appreciated
Karen - PCI Therapy Client
How I feel now, 3 months on, is absolutely priceless!
"If you suggested to me 3 months ago that one of the best investments you can do for yourself was literally investing time and money into a mentor that will help you unleash the potential you never knew existed,open your eyes to the most incredible life you only dreamed of living, to try a new type of therapy that you never knew existed… I would have said...
No! I can't commit, it's too expensive, how do you know if it works? I need to know if this will work? I don't have that type of money! I can't afford it, the list goes on...
BUT wow since working with Jen I have never been more grateful.
The money I have invested in this process was the best thing I have ever done. How I feel now 3 months on is absolutely priceless, you can't put a price on the happiness I feel day to day, the changes I have made, the confidence, the self belief, the money I have got back from making better choices and decisions is beyond my wildest dreams.
Jen has changed my life and opened up my eyes to so much more. Anyone that knew me before this journey knew how much I struggled and stumbled through life, never had money, every time people saw me it was like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. It was a struggle but I knew I had it in me to live an amazing life and fight the inner voice and limiting beliefs I had made for myself.
Thanks to Jen, her knowledge & expertise has guided me into becoming the best version of myself. Her constant support was unreal, I have worked with multiple counsellors, psychologists, coaches over the years and NOTHING worked. I would go around in circles every week and never be able to get rid of traumas from the past and behaviours I had developed. I was at my last resort. Who would've thought the last resort was the only resort I needed!
Jens form of therapy has unleashed my inner warrior in every aspect from training, self- worth, confidence, personality, career, finances, being a better friend and person. Thank you Jen for literally changing my life and healing myself from inside out.
Jen told me 3 months ago, I wouldn't even know myself 3 months from now. At the time it was the hardest thing I was doing and I thought, I don't think Jen can help me, no one can help me. WELL I am proof in the pudding that 3 months on I am living my best life and never going back to the old person I was.
Jen truly saved my life, from a broken soul to a rebuilt amazing woman ready to conquer life and anything that is thrown my way. I trusted her, I trusted her process, I followed the path and it has paid off.
You need to invest in yourself - you won't regret it.”
Kendra McAdam - PCI Therapy Client
At breaking point to feeling loveable!
"SERIOUSLY, I felt like I was at complete rock bottom when I started it was like I tried everything and was at breaking point. I hated myself, I hated my life, I was like when am I going to finally change and get ahead! I had exhausted every option apart from your work, your approach, and your therapy!! I was thinking this is your last bloody chance! Do it for yourself! Then at least you can say you tried everything!!!
I took a chance and look what has happened!! LOOK! So many amazing things! I now see why it was so hard for me before to make good decisions and what’s best for me!!! Why I was in circles always struggling!
Now I see with your help that I can make better choices and decisions that make me feel much better and stressfree! Gosh, it’s amazing to think you can get anything you want and do anything with your life! You just have to have a plan, purpose, and believe you can!
I ACTUALLY FEEL LOVEABLE and worthy of it all now!!! I see so much clearer now!
Everyone has noticed so many changes in me!!! But that’s just the bonus!! I just respond so much better! No lying or covering up, I'm not embarrassed by anything, I am now just being honest, truthful and showing up for myself. Can’t believe how far I have come and once again only the beginning!
ALL YOUR WORK, THERAPY, AND YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL - You are just life-changing and so good at what you do!
I am so so happy I trusted the process and did this!! I remember messaging you at the start saying “will this work?”. I needed that assurance from you and you gave me the tools, the words, and the language I needed and BOOM here we are!"
PCI Therapy Client
Changes that are massive, scary, and freaking exciting!
"Where to begin, when I met you I was outwardly fine, and inwardly a bit all over the place. I was in a job I wasn't enjoying, a marriage I found challenging, and my confidence was at an all-time low. I was no longer feeling worthy... of just about anything. In fact, even doing the things I love (CrossFit and Volunteering) I was losing my motivation and enthusiasm.
My friend knew this and asked me to speak to you. I needed to do something - I wanted to feel great about myself. I didn't know the last time I did, in fact, the whole 12 months prior was the most challenging space I'd personally been in, and my self-esteem was at an all-time low.
With PCI therapy you were able to help me move the barriers that were holding me back from change and progression. Allowing me to work out what was important to me, what my intentions are, what my goals and values are, what I am grateful for and why I am worthy.
I am forever grateful to you Jen - I opened my heart and my mind for you to guide me to where I am now:
I have started a new role for an organisation that specifically aligns with my values;
We sold our house and have had the ability to move into an area we have always wanted to move; and
I am fully open to any change that may be put in front of me, including moving to a new gym.
I never used to be open to change, I have mainly lived in the same suburb for over 30 years, I had worked in the same company for almost 9 years - everything I do is usually for a long tenure. These changes are massive, scary, and freaking exciting.
Gratitude journal, bedtime routine, positive thinking, meditation - I will continue to do this daily practices for the rest of my life.
I hope this is inspiring to someone out there to reach out to Jen for mentoring."
Anna - PCI Therapy Client
So many breakthroughs!
"I just wanted to share with you some of the things you've helped me to realise, breakthrough and manifest over the past year;
Breaking through my first money ceilings and realising the abundance of the world!
Breaking through the childhood hurt from my parents break up
Installing SO much confidence in me to show up as me
Reaching my $15k savings goal
Finding my true values in life and helping me structure and reflect each quarter with my goals and outlooks
Realising I studied to be an accountant only to find I didn't want it and so I created my new job as a consultant!
Creating my goals on a quarter-by-quarter basis and realising that I'm smashing them
Releasing the crap I was holding on to about my old schoolteacher and the expectations of myself other people
Embracing the present moment with "don't push the paddle up the stream"
Breaking through the resentment I've been holding on to since before my birth!
Breaking through the limiting beliefs of not fitting in!
Being my teacher and my guide through the spiritual pillar of my life is truly the biggest blessing of all.
God all these things give me so much joy. There's probably so much more but those are the things that pop to mind haha. I'm so very proud of myself for how far I've come."
Cayzia - PCI Therapy Client
"Just a few things you have helped me with :)
Things that have changed for me:
A better understanding of self - mental, physical, emotional & spiritual
Learning to let go of past fears, traumas and not let them define who I am today
Stopped being so hard on myself and learning to love who I am
Leaning into becoming the person I want to be
Learning to say no and not be a people pleaser
Feeling more in-tuned to myself and my body
Putting myself out there and trying new things without fear
Letting go of things/people etc that no longer serve me
Looking for new opportunities
Learning to meditate, sit in stillness, and embracing the silence
Letting go on perfectionism and learning to make mistakes
Making decisions more consciously
Learning to care less about others and be more focused on me
Learning to lean into the emotions and feelings and letting them be. Knowing they are temporary and it’s okay to feel how I feel
Learning to be honest and speak up rather than sitting back
You literally have changed my life, I don't think I've felt this in tune with myself. You've made me confront my past and made me realise that I don't have to continue to live there. I can change the narrative!"
Helena - PCI Therapy Client
"I could not be more grateful for the journey I have experienced with Jen – I am 47 and have struggled with eating issues, body dysmorphia and a very deep dislike/hatred of myself, and felt that I was not worth being loved by anyone, for my entire life. Last year saw a resurgence of my eating disorder, and I no longer had the energy or motivation to exercise my way out of it, and I knew it was time to find the help I needed to break the cycle.
Earlier this year, I came across Jen via instagram and her messages peaked my interest along with her love of CrossFit. It’s fair to say that I have tried everything to change the way I think and the way I feel, spent alot of money and have never found “the thing” that has given me the freedom I have needed from the messages and stories in my head, so I was nervous about the investment that I was about to make.
I spoke with Jen - I loved that when I expressed my distrust and concerns, she challenged me, she got to the root of what the actual issues were and has helped free me from the stories and the subconcious conditioning I was experiencing every day. It is a journey and doing the work has been incredibly confronting at times. But my trust in her and the process has changed my life. I am happier, I am more positive and my relationships with my family are only getting better and the eating, food, and body issues have become a non-event as I have the tools to rewrite the stories.
Every day is a blessing – I no longer take the small things for granted and when challenges have come my way, I am able to see them for what they are and find the positives in them.
I can’t explain how amazing it is to be able to be “that person” that is happy and free and enjoying all of the things I have taken for granted in the past. If you had of asked me, if I thought this was possible 6 months ago, I would have said no – but here I am being “that person”.
Amanda - PCI Therapy Client
Redefining who she was...
Words from Jen...
"When this young 20 year-old lady came to me for help she was scared of food, was binge eating, felt constant sadness, felt unworthy of happiness, she didn't like people touching her, she was also a huge people pleaser and couldn't be alone or sit still for more than 10mins.
Massively under weight, and “labelled” with an eating disorder she felt socially judged which affected what she did, what she said or didn't say, and where she went. She was constantly doing everything to please other peoples expectations and needs while shutting out & not listening to her own.
Over 4 months of working together it is safe to say she has come a long way. One of her last pieces of homework was to write down 5 - 10 things that have significantly changed in her life since working together from where she was to where she is now.
I am excited to share with you the 15 things she came back to me with..."
From the client...
15 things that have significantly changed in my life:
No binge eating or restrictive food cycling
Intentional with who I surround myself with - deepening my friendships
No anxiety around foods, being confident in myself and my choices
Fave meal of the day = breakky / loving breakfast
Happier and more positive
Love every second and aspect of my life - who and how
Allowing myself rest, being more in tune with myself, my body & it’s needs. Appreciating rest & relaxation, being comfortable with it!
No longer feel ill all the time. I consume exactly what makes me feel good!
I am the happiest human
I am honest with myself
I am always confident in myself now
I show up as the person I am & want to be rather than letting others have an influence or disctate how I feel about myself!
Actually eating carbs lol
PCI Therapy Client
When nothing else has worked...
“My 23-year struggle with dysthymia included a history of self-harm and institutionalization. My whole adult life, I thought of myself as a sick, broken person, and believed the condition was chronic.
I tried many medications, counselors, and therapies with little success. PCI Therapy with Jen gave me the tools I needed to finally take charge of my situation, change my beliefs, and begin to heal. I have a new perspective on my life and health—a great gift to myself that I acquired with Jen’s help.”
Stephen Noakes (PhD) - PCI Therapy Client
Knowing her power!
I have been working with Jen for a few months both one on one and now just through the online course. When I started I was feeling overwhelmed and desperately needing some peace in my life.
This morning I was just reflecting on how peaceful I was feeling. For me the biggest learnings have been letting go of the need for external validation, being able to make decisions that align with my core values (it is crazy how out of alignment with my core values my life was) and realizing how many opportunities I have (but wasn’t seeing) for fulfilment in my life.
I have been looking back on some goals that I set with Jen a while ago and ticking them off my list. A few months ago they seemed so huge and almost insurmountable, but now I realize that they were always within my power and I just had to get started and have some belief in myself.
What I have enjoyed the most is the level of self-awareness that I have developed, this has given me so much respect for myself which allows me to set boundaries and put myself first.
Annette Woodroffe (Lawyer) - PCI Therapy Client
Inspiring the audience
On behalf of the Dynamic Growth Experience New Zealand convenors and Spinal Research, I would like to extend our heartfelt thanks to Jen for your participation as a speaker for our Champions-themed DGE NZ on Saturday 12th March 2016.
The feedback from DGE NZ has been extremely positive and our delegates were particularly impressed. Thank you for not only speaking but also for sharing your expertise, enthusiasm, and knowledge with our delegates. The event was a huge success and we know that this would not have been such a strong and successful event without you partaking.
Once again, thank you for supporting Spinal Research, for sharing your message, and for inspiring our many delegates to find their inner CHAMPION.
Troy Miles (Australian Spinal Research Foundation) - Speaking Event Client